Gonna give it a try

I think I'm going to give it a try to make my present relationship better. Its never going to be perfect or probably even enough but I've been looking around "outside" and I just get more and more reluctant to pursue something else.

Something I have done is to connect with a friend. He's someone I can tell anything to and someone I feel sexy with (and gets me that way too). He's married and although its not a completely satisfying relationship for him either I think he has a really pretty good attitude about it. He strives to be happy. He makes it the best he can. He has other interests which sustain him. He's had outside relationships when he can. Now he has me too and I have him. That it will only really ever be a "secret garden" sort of relationship, and mostly in our minds, is okay. What I am missing is the intimacy really and I think we can be that for each other where we aren't getting it elsewhere.

So does this take away from either of our other relationships? If it prevented that sort of intimacy with a mate then I would say yes but in my case that isn't really there anyway because - well it isn't. Things that can't be said or shared with a spouse can sometimes be shared with a friend. I think by including him in my life I can use that "secret garden" to better my other relationships. I won't feel the resentment of not having that with V. I can be affectionate and companionable because I am not resentful or unfulfilled.

Does this all sound like a rationalization? Maybe but I'm also not sure one can always have all that one needs in only one primary relationship.  Anyway, I hope this works out. I think it has a chance.